Monday, December 22, 2008
I've changed a lot. Evidence, proven, convicted. Just today, when I called a secondary school classmate I haven't talked to for 4 years (or so, she was my classmate in lower sec and then she went to NUS High) to inform her about the gathering, she nearly hung up on me.
"Hey J, this is yiqi. You remember me?"
"Huh? You're not yiqi. I'm hanging up."
--silence--
I was so bemused and unsure of what I should be doing. After the silence, she said "You're really yiqi, meh?" and I said "err, ya?". and then the conversation went on.
So apparently, it was not just my character that changed. My voice probably did too. I certainly hope it has changed for the nicer.
I don't know how i feel about the gathering tomorrow. It's... interesting I guess. After all, we haven't got together in...4 years? Yes, that's how united we are. (Very very united my foot.) If Mrs B.Lim weren't migrating, we would never have met up at all. Maybe 50 years down the road, when we could have lost touch, when somebody has died, we'd meet up. Probably, for the funeral, or something like that.
It's always like that isn't it? We always realise, acknowledge, reflect, remember, think, regret, et cetera, only when things have ended. Oh well at least now we know and I know I want to make effort to maintain relationships. It felt quite good, calling people I haven't spoken to in a long time. (But some people I think I prefer to avoid.)
Just back from Taiwan, and I learnt pretty interesting things. The Fengshui master said something that I thought was really true. She said I seldom get angry. But once I do, my temper would be really, really, really bad. It's really true huh? (Comments on the tagboard please, ha.) The guitar people should know. My secondary school friends will never understand what that is like. Because yiqi has changed. I used to keep things in and I would never show my feelings inside.
I don't know why I've changed so much. But it's all for the better. I like myself today. I like being open and being able to step up and sing. Making friends through music. In Taiwan, I smiled at so many strangers and they always smiled back. I like that feeling.
It's like how a little girl smiles and everybody can't help but smile back.
When we were young, our parents told us being a child would be the happiest times of our life. We could play at playgrounds. Slide down the slide upside down. I saw a young girl doing that, and I suddenly felt that familarity. We never believed our parents. We wanted to grow up. But now i understand why they said that. We can't go to a playground and slide down head first without fearing how others look at us. Which is why I have a dream of building this huge, huge playground only for youths and the young at heart. Do you think it's possible? Whatever it is, it's still a dream. A possibility. Although I have never wanted or thought of becoming an entreprenuer.
;6:40 PM
