Sunday, July 5, 2009

Been so long since I blogged. 2 Bizarre Things That Happened Recently:

1. My mum promised me a reward of SGD$ 1000.00/- if I am able to do a full split in 2 years time from today, 5th July 2009.

2. Somebody told me "Your life is gone. Seriously, gone" after I told him I was going to University.

Quite a nice twist to the usual perception. Sincerely welcomed.



Thursday, June 11, 2009




I want a house like that- windows that you can sit with your legs out, with that guitar.



Thursday, May 28, 2009

So if I had one wish left on the earth, I'd give it to you, for you to reach the place you've wanted so much to be. And all I can say is that I hope for you, now, because the hope I've given you once turned out to be a hoax and I'm sorry. I hope that you can give yourself strength to hope. And I know, you never really give up. Even if you say you open the letter box with a sense of hopelessness. You never, never give up.

So if I had one wish left on the earth, I'd give it to you, for you to go wherever you want to.

Monday, May 25, 2009






Thursday, May 21, 2009


So, after I've thought about this a hundred and one times, the rational part of me sat down and I made this PROS and CONS list for SMU Sch of Soc Sci vs NUS FASS. It's kind of a sequel to the "NTU Mass com vs NUS FASS" but well that led me to NUS and the call from SMU on a wonderful Tuesday morning led me here. I kind of blurred the words so you can't really read it, but haha if you want to see my full list which is 1.5 A4 pages long, ask and you shall receive.

I think somebody transmitted me a sign last night. The transmission went:"Yi Qi, I think you're just running away from SMU because you're going to step out of your comfort zone." It came out of nowhere, you know. And I laughed, because I wondered out loud," Hello God, are you giving me a sign?" (Sorry I have no intention of making this sound insulting to those who're religious, really. I believe God/a supreme being exists but I'm agnostic/unitarian.)

Soooo anyway, after seeking advice from friends and seniors and reading the internet forums, this list emerged and this list has determined that I would not be travelling to the West for school. I crossed out the point about the (higher valued in terms of $, but not necessarily more prestigious) scholarship so that I could make a fair comparison but still, Dhoby Ghaut is the place to go.

It is mainly the compulsory internship and 2nd major, and my belief of better job prospects (due to the exposure to business studies) that has allowed S to whack N on the head and say "so there!" although N has a wonderful ranking of 18th in the world and an accompanying prestige.

Oh, so off I am to "Discover a different ME". Wonderful. (Will I develop an accent? Ok kidding)

Haha, and I cannot deny the fact that the materialistic part of me is happy too. Tsk.



Saturday, May 16, 2009


I want to find more of myself //
That journey isn't that great anyhow. Who will that journey involve? Where would that journey bring me? Why should I bother if it has already "been planned"?

On a wonderfully optimistic note, however, which I tend to incline myself towards, there are things that help to smoothen the ride.

Yes, whatever la yiqi. Pissy, curse-y, unhappy about the repetition of that apologetic-after-being-less-than-a-high-EQ-person routine. Wonderful conclusion to my night.

I'm ashamed to say that sometimes I don't feel guilt at all. Even today, when I left those dishes unwashed for the woman whom everyone takes for granted.

You lack resolve, yiqi. Better wake up your idea.



Thursday, May 7, 2009

Since we've got that truce going baby, fly me to the moon?
(Fill my life with song)
(And let me sing for ever more)

Okay, after a series of unhappy posts (haha, as so pointed out to me), time for some happy posts. I realised that my time with Elizabeth Choo has influenced my eating habits, to my utter dismay. I eat my rice with dark soy sauce, and I ate Mac's Big Breakfast a few days ago. Well. Today's post is gonna be really out of point and random so I'll probably delete it later on, because I want to sound cool and give the "hi, welcome to my blog I'm cool" impression. Right, I can see you rolling your eyes. I'm rolling my eyes at myself too.

1. Well well, I've discovered the existence of ADULT BALLET CLASSES. This means that my dreams of being able to do pirouettes and jetes is not impossible after (or is it?) I need some basic ballet to take lyrical jazz, which according to the amazing Facebook quizzes, IS MY KIND OF DANCE. But it's quite impossible since I'm still about... 45 degrees from the "spread your legs 180 degrees" stunt. Although having 45 more degrees to go means I am already 3/4 there, but as all of us know, this is a totally different matter.

2. A strange thought occured to me today. I had it after I watched Amazing Race Season 14 Finale. I cried when the teams reached the mat. Actually mainly when Luke and Margaret reached. I'm not trying to draw attention to the fact that Luke is deaf, but man. It's not easy. Okay so back to my strange thought. My thought was: What if God, or whoever made us, or whoever helped us evolve from chimpanzees, made us such that all males were blind, and all females were deaf? Or the opposite? So, men will never get to oogle at girls, and women will never be able to get that attention of the guy she's trying to flirt with since she can't make a sound, nor can she catch the eye of that man. So, if we were made that way, will we still find a way to interact and find our perfect match? I can see you trying hard to ignore me, since this is such a pointless question and we're not deaf nor blind, but well. It's just a prospsect. We're just lucky we evolved in the right way, or that God or whoever created us is smart and forward looking. Sorry I raised this question anyway.

Okay done for today. Got to water the plants, talk to them and maybe sing a little. They appreciate it.

Sunday, March 15, 2009


Somebody told me recently, "Seriously, don't try la. You won't get in one. XXX got 4As (and distinctions and wdvr etc etc etc elaborate on how great that person is) and he didn't even get in."

Well, it happens to be that I have this really irritating trait that refuses to " not try". I mean it dosen't hurt to try and if you don't even try... You really won't get in. Even if I don't I'll be proud that I even tried. And that's why I've been telling alot of my friends to try, no matter what. It's just stupid to tell somebody not to try. Because we're always doing that in life.

Haven't you tried to chase a bus that you might not even catch, but really had to because you were late? Haven't you wanted to be the best that you can ever be, but failed? But put it this way, if you have never wanted to be the best, you will never be. Even if you want to be your best, it starts by trying, by failing. Before you get it. And YOU WILL GET IT. if you believe and if you want it badly enough.

Well maybe some people have have been fortunate enough to get whatever they have wanted. The first time. But that dosen't make it right for them to tell others that they shouldn't even try just because they know of people who have failed.

"Haha, everything they say is bullshit."

Oh, then everything you've said isn't?Hello you can say whatever you want, and thank you for giving me your advice, but really, everybody can give advice but it's really up to the recepient to take it or not.

I still believe in myself and my abilities, i don't need anybody to judge me.



Thursday, March 5, 2009


Once in a while, I randomly check up on the netball scene back in Nanhua. The netball blog wasn't updated, so I went to Siying's blog. I enjoyed reading the posts. One particular post went like this:

Tomorrow is the day. To be who I imagine to be, what I imagine to do. The day. To get it.

I found it so apt to describe how I'm feeling now.



Sunday, March 1, 2009


He sits there quiet, contemplative. But inside him there's somebody who'll come out for a kill. Both of them know. They know deep inside there's more to him than that nice smile, gentle demeanour. There's not just more. There's too much that they didn't know that lay hidden. The flakes will slowly fall. The outer covering will fall until all you see is what's inside.


When we were young and we met people who weren't exactly nice to you, or when we encountered set backs, when we cried over lost matches and exam results, we thought we've learnt so much about the world. That we've grown up, that we've seen that much of the world.


But we had no idea it was going to get even more complicated. We thought we knew something but we knew nothing. We learn more and more. And more. About people, businesses, feelings, relationships, apparent relationships. About matters, reality, finance. Life and more.

I wish you all the best in your journey of discovery. As I go on with mine. But there're always things to be thankful for. For one, discovering true friendship that withstands adversity. And I'm so thankful for you. I know this friendship will be one that I can turn to, for a long time to come. When nobody could understand, she could because we are in this together. Even when I've done with this, I will still be in this with you.

Second thing I'm thankful about today. Family.

Last thing. I'm thankful for our relationship. As rocky as things can get, there'll always be that blissful feeling when things are resolved.



Thursday, January 29, 2009


To all future businessmen:

My new year wish for you is that you'll have a legitimate business that does not leave employees puzzling over whether they've made the right decision joining your company, that does not infuriate employees when they do not have the resources to go about their job. May you have a business that is known to be doing good things, doing charity even if you are not running a big business that gives you a huge turnover. I hope that your business will care for the welfare of all employees and potential employees. A business that gives the right kind of information. Whatever you have promised, should be there. The title indeed, must be there but having a title, with no content, is like having a toilet door that you cannot close. Meaning, you might as well NOT DO YOUR BUSINESS.

wow, what a nice analogy that fits perfectly.



Sunday, January 18, 2009


From Nerina Pallot's MySpace page(click):

"Coz music, real music, isn’t about whether something is cool or not, or what nightclub you go to, or how much you don’t eat. Music is about that intangible magic thread between your speakers and your heart; something that makes difficult things less difficult to feel, euphoric moments more extraordinary, and a way of saying the things we say everyday in a new language that everyone can understand. Nerina Pallot loves music, and that’s all you really need to know, innit? "

I feel so much respect for her and the way she is. The way she seems to accept the way she is, her confidence and the way she's so, so, so natural with the piano. Hah, and I like the way she blogs. Thanks Jaime, never knew Pallot existed.



Friday, January 16, 2009

The voices sing out so loud, the emotions so clear, every beat so strong.

I think music-playing, singing- is a very enjoyable thing. Isn't that such a simple statement? Yeah. Sometimes, when the vacuous way of living becomes so unbearable, to such an extent we question the reason the purpose of life, singing can fill that void. Even if you sing out of tune (well anyway if you sing out of tune, the odds are you don't know you are singing out of tune,maybe), even if you can't belt out the latest hits, even if you can't remember the lyrics and just hum or make weird sounds to fill up the gaps, even if... even if everything is wrong, singing can't do the soul wrong. I mean people go to church and they worship and they sing songs right? And the temple people chant? And the African tribes beat drums and dance? Even if you're not religious, you can sing a little nursery rhyme and whatever, it makes you feel like prancing around. Does it not? Okay maybe it's just me. But... try. Try singing. Like B's previous blog url, "LET'S SING IT". take that advice. and well Jai's blog url "MUSIC SAVES THE WORLD". yeah. music saves yiqi from cheerlessness, and it saves yiqi from the world that, sometimes, fail to be the way we'd like it to be.

I guess what has never failed to touch me, it's music. And the people who've brought music into my life and my memories. When I listen to those familiar tunes, I feel a shiver go through me and... I don't know. Sometimes when you listen to a really good vocalist, you get those goosebumps? Yeah. I mean, only music can be that magical.

If music were a religion...hmm. I wouldn't be a free thinker.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009







Wednesday, December 31, 2008


Last day of 2008.
You know we always like to blog on the last day of the year, talk about how the past year has been. Talk about the friends we've met, talk about the new passions that've entered our lives, talk about all the good and bad, talk about friendships that still last right up a decade, talk about people who've left, talk about how we used to be and how we changed, talk about people who've changed, talk about the future, talk about resolutions and how we would keep them...

But you know what? I can't really remember what I talked about on the last day of 2007. Or on the last day of 2006... backtracking, I can't remember my new year resolutions for 2008. I flipped through my book and I found it- my new year resolutions! Okay, so they're the same. I don't think I kept all of them. One major 2008 resolution was:

I WILL WAKE UP EVERY DAY WITH A SENSE OF PURPOSE.

One year later, on 31/12/08, I'm still looking very much for a new sense of purpose and meaning. Point of story?

I guess we have to keep on looking for what we want. It's that cliched quote saying 'Life is a journey, not a destination'. Things we've never really understood, we start to slowly comprehend, and acknowledge. Right, so let's continue on our journey.

Don't think i'll write any resolutions for 2009. I believe, I think all we need, is that sense of meaning. Purpose. And every other thing in life that we've yearned for will follow... maybe.

Here's wishing all a happy new year, happy 2009, and may everybody find their direction and sense of purpose in life. Not just in 2009, but for the entire of their lifetimes. Have a great journey.



Monday, December 29, 2008


I woke up moody, regretful and pissed. I think i sleepwalked last night, when it started to rain. I know part of my brain woke up to close the windows, but the other part was pissed that I woke up. So what I really did was walk to the living room and walk back to my room, then fall back asleep again. Dumb.

That's not the point anyway.

The point is, I don't see much meaning in my life. I am now considerably more cheerful than I was one hour ago, so I shall try to explain my feelings without going into that somber mood. Yesterday while taking bus with the guitarists to Chomp Chomp, I suddenly had a realisation that I wasn't happy. Don't get me wrong, I was having lots of fun. There is no lack of laughter, smiles nor happiness whenever I'm with my friends or when I'm dating. I don't know how to put it adequately.

All along I thought that maybe, I had to look for a job to make my life more meaningful. You know, like earn your own keep, get to buy the things you always wanted to buy. Or maybe, find something that I'm passionate about. Music, dance, sports. Enjoy life. Enjoy the sun. Enjoy company. But yesterday on the bus, I realised I was already laughing so much. But why isn't there that satisfaction that I've once felt?

The last time I ever felt truly happy, and truly satisfied was after Reverie 2008. When Mr Wan and Mr Chan shook my hand. I felt satisfied. It's after all that internal turmoil, the tsunami of emotions that I've felt pre-concert, and when it's finally done and done to a certain acceptable standard, it's so satisfying. Emotionally, it was a new, wonderful experience, and it was that happiness, that satisfaction only came after I've been right down bottom where my brain, my heart and my body has been tried. When I've started tearing after receiving sms-es from the man himself telling me that the concert will be great, even though everything was a mess just days before the concert. I don't know how to put it.

It's making a difference, it's doing something that has been meaningful I guess.

On the bus, I remember laughing, smiling, having fun. But I don't feel that happiness from deep inside. I don't feel my heart smiling, my mind laughing, my feet dancing, tapping to every beat in my life. (Okay Yi Qi you're being dramatic).

But today morning, I finally understood. Maybe it's God's way of telling me. Hey, you don't need a job. That's not what's going to give you happiness. What is going to give me happiness? Making a difference? Doing something that contributes to a good cause? Making money isn't going to give you happiness. Turning around in circles trying to fit in somewhere where you don't even have mastery in won't give me happiness. I can sing, I can play but I can't do all that for life.

I don't know yet. I really don't know. I'm just looking for a sign, for something to really show me the way to what I should be doing. But I'm sure now. I'm looking for volunteer opportunities, very much interested. And the Volunteer Orientation should be a good starting point I guess.
I mean, if i'm volunteering long-term, the happiness i can derive and the difference i can make in the world surely and farly (is there such a word?) exceeds what i would derive if i were to look for work and make lots of money right?

I really do hope so. And till then, until I find what I really want (and fast, I only have so much free time till Uni), the next time you see me I'll not only have better skin (due to the immense amount of dead sea salt facial and body scrub i bought), and also, I'll be a happier girl. I'll know what I want. I believe it.

I'll still be looking for a job, but now I know it's not what can bring my life around and make me satisfied. I hope you understand what I've been saying. If not, it's fine because my life, my thoughts isn't something I can put explicitly in words, and although I've really been trying, I understand that nobody, but myself can really give me what I want in life.

Have a wonderful day.



Saturday, December 27, 2008


I hope you'll start to accept and adapt to every day that you'll be living, from this day, from this day when you turn 18. Learn to stop being angry easily, learn to accept things and people, your emotions... Learn to accept yourself, your physique, your looks with and without specs, your hair on bad hair days, your nose that acts up once in a while... Love yourself every day and I hope you wake up smiling each day. Even if you can't find a job yet. Believe in yourself and make full use of your life even if it's not earning you big bucks. Make your life meaningful, do the things you've always wanted to do. Stop putting it off.

Love your friends and make it a point to go for gatherings, because it's never weird or awkward as you think it may be. Be cautious of people, but open your heart to those you know are true. Better tried and failed, than never to have known how it's like.

Remember your principles, those who've helped you along, those who've always been beside you. Be grateful, be loving and be happy. Make a difference to those around you. Also, be safe. All the best, 17, on your 18th birthday.

Love, Yi Qi.



Thursday, December 25, 2008


hurhur, when i took off my contacts on christmas eve, it broke. I thought smth was left inside, but my mum said there was nothing after she checked for me. So i went to sleep after spamming my eye with eye drops. And... I got a christmas present from Santa when I woke up this christmas! (:





Monday, December 22, 2008


I've changed a lot. Evidence, proven, convicted. Just today, when I called a secondary school classmate I haven't talked to for 4 years (or so, she was my classmate in lower sec and then she went to NUS High) to inform her about the gathering, she nearly hung up on me.

"Hey J, this is yiqi. You remember me?"
"Huh? You're not yiqi. I'm hanging up."

--silence--
I was so bemused and unsure of what I should be doing. After the silence, she said "You're really yiqi, meh?" and I said "err, ya?". and then the conversation went on.

So apparently, it was not just my character that changed. My voice probably did too. I certainly hope it has changed for the nicer.

I don't know how i feel about the gathering tomorrow. It's... interesting I guess. After all, we haven't got together in...4 years? Yes, that's how united we are. (Very very united my foot.) If Mrs B.Lim weren't migrating, we would never have met up at all. Maybe 50 years down the road, when we could have lost touch, when somebody has died, we'd meet up. Probably, for the funeral, or something like that.

It's always like that isn't it? We always realise, acknowledge, reflect, remember, think, regret, et cetera, only when things have ended. Oh well at least now we know and I know I want to make effort to maintain relationships. It felt quite good, calling people I haven't spoken to in a long time. (But some people I think I prefer to avoid.)

Just back from Taiwan, and I learnt pretty interesting things. The Fengshui master said something that I thought was really true. She said I seldom get angry. But once I do, my temper would be really, really, really bad. It's really true huh? (Comments on the tagboard please, ha.) The guitar people should know. My secondary school friends will never understand what that is like. Because yiqi has changed. I used to keep things in and I would never show my feelings inside.

I don't know why I've changed so much. But it's all for the better. I like myself today. I like being open and being able to step up and sing. Making friends through music. In Taiwan, I smiled at so many strangers and they always smiled back. I like that feeling.

It's like how a little girl smiles and everybody can't help but smile back.

When we were young, our parents told us being a child would be the happiest times of our life. We could play at playgrounds. Slide down the slide upside down. I saw a young girl doing that, and I suddenly felt that familarity. We never believed our parents. We wanted to grow up. But now i understand why they said that. We can't go to a playground and slide down head first without fearing how others look at us. Which is why I have a dream of building this huge, huge playground only for youths and the young at heart. Do you think it's possible? Whatever it is, it's still a dream. A possibility. Although I have never wanted or thought of becoming an entreprenuer.



Friday, December 5, 2008

yiqi
grps,nhhs,sajc